Update!

I didn't realize how long it's been since I've blogged! It's been Thanksgiving and waiting on Christmas. Here's a picture of me and Alyssa with 2 of my sisters and my neice and nephew.

But the same things are going on so there's no change actually! Except for today is different. My divorce is suppose to be final. I guess Darren is up there in the courthouse,which in a small town maybe things are done differently, but he's suppose to be there I guess so things will be final. My feelings haven't changed on this at all which is a sad thing. I didn't want to be divorced again and starting over as I call it. I had hoped that I would have meant enough to him that he wouldn't actually want to finalize things by going through with it. I guess I live in a dreamworld. There's nobody that I have met or come across that can compare to my feelings that I have for him. I am hoping that will change because it is certainly doing me no good at all by still caring for Darren. It is not returned which is obvious by his actions. I need to be more positive in my life, I need to pray for God's help and guidiance more in my life, and look forward. These things I know and will strive to do more and more.

On a better note,! my grandkids are doing great, growing like weeds. Had a good thanksgiving and looking forward to hopefully having some time off around Christmas to spend some time with them. Work is still hectic. Not actually hectic I guess you'd say, but can be very stressful. Things change all the time, more pressure on agents for selling, and if you have a bad month, or 2, then you have to actually wonder, like I do, if you'll have that job a couple of months down the road. I don't like that feeling. I want a position where I feel like I am in a stable situation and if I'm doing the best I can do, then I should be appreciated for that and not have to worry about my future. But again, in this economy today? I guess that kind of thoughts is just out of the question!