TGIF!!

Looks like Friday's must be my day for posting.  This has been a long week it seems.  Went to my therapist Tuesday and we talked about what all I'm going through. Grieving. Yes, it's like I'm going through a grieving process.  I lost my companion that I did so much with. I was blindsided. And so grieving is what she attributed it too. And when I think about it, it is so true. There are good days, then that little ole bad day will creep in and no matter what, I feel like my world has crumbled. I feel so lonely and lost. I have a great support system. Friends and family that I know are probably sick of hearing me talk about it. But listening to them gives me positive thoughts to think about and work on accepting.  One of the things we talked about that might be causing me sorrow and pain, is that there is no answer to the "whys". Probably never will be because he won't tell me. If he had only respected me enough to talk to me months ago. At least to tell me his feelings and if there had been something toward working toward, I would of at least had a insight into what he was thinking and feeling. But he in his selfishness of wanting me there to do things with when he had no one else around, chose not to share these feelings, so I was left to assume things were good, feelings were good and getting better, and then when he found someone else,  is when he decided to lower the boom.  And now when I see him in passing or when I go to feed my horses over there, he makes no attempt to even speak. He acts like to me that I did something to him!  I am so disgusted with him and myself. Him because he turned out to be someone I never thought he would be. Just a complete selfish, non compassionate ass, and me because I'm letting it get to me like this when I should say good riddance to him and not give a damn at all. Hopefully with help this will happen. 

Looking forward to a good weekend!!