Getting better at this one day at a time.....

I haven't felt like writing. I'm working STILL on dealing with loosing my best friend. Yes, I lost my friend, but not in death. That one phone call almost 3 months ago that changed my world. Damn! Why do we have to go through pain of the heart? As I told a friend, I'm to old for this. I shouldn't be going through this. He said, and he's a counselor and been a friend for years, "you're never to old. I counsel people in their 80's that are married and fight!" AGH! I can't imagine going through that in my 80's!  Anyway, day by day I take it. If I think about it I get upset. So, I am trying to think of other things and staying busy and also I think of the negative things about this man that I loved for so many years of different ways he treated me that made me feel not important...unloved....never important enough to him ..... that helps. 

So, I'm not looking for a relationship AT ALL. Like he apparantly was. I would like to meet someone that thinks of me as someone nice, fun, and important enough to be with. But, I found out through my life, if you look for it, it an't a gonna happen. So, once again, day by day is the way. My heart needs repairing anyway, and I have a feeling that's gonna take awhile.