Lord, please give me the strength...

to accept the things (and people) that I cannot change. Still trying to be strong to accept the heartbreak of my ex rejecting me so I may as well look at it. It is a daily struggle to accept. I have loved before, have married before, but never felt like this over another human being. I have discovered a valuable lesson though. Never put a man up on a pedastal thinking he will never hurt you or never stop caring for you. It will happen. It has happened. And if you do that, more than likely it will happen again...and again. I have made a complete idiot out of myself trying to find closure. I am a 55 year old woman, acting like a lost child I feel like sometimes. I keep asking why..and getting not the answer I so desperately want to hear. And I'm not going to hear it. 


I hope that I go through my grieving process, because this is what it feels like, and become stronger for it, and if the opportunity ever does arise again, which I doubt it very seriously will, from someone that has done me this way, I can then look this person in the eyes, those very brown beautiful eyes that always melted my heart when he looked at me, and from the bottom of my heart remind him of how I cried and proclaimed my heart out to him and not one look of compassion or care was on his face...or in those eyes. And then maybe he will see how it feels.